shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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