I want to have your abortion
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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