oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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