My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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