Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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