This girl is more easily done than said...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
