She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I cannot find my penis.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
True college students do jello shots in the library
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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