I am in a vortex of obligation.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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