I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
