I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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