it hurts more in the daytime
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
