Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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