So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i love accidental penises.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
