This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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