i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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