HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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