were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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