And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
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One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
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Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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