i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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