ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
