Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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