i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
