what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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