i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
