you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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