...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
