Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
