The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Are we still banned from the library?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
