I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
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You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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