im drinking this country out of the recession.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
