yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
