He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
