My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
