I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
