O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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