I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
