Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
