they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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