ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
