the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i love accidental penises.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
