i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
if only i could text you this smell
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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