Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
