Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
