I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Jerry, you need to find god
I feel like abortions should bother me more
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I need a burrito and a hug.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
