In the future we'll all be gay
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
