Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im holly from the hills drunk
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
