The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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