No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
