Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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