I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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