I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
