At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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