Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
