we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
