you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
