it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What a dumb baby whore.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
