this beer tastes like vomit already
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
