he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
