At least make sure they are 18
Why
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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