i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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