got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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