But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
