I want to walk on stilts...naked
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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