just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
