i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
